Pouston, TX – The scientific community at NASA headquarters was stunned today by the discovery of a massive brown hole located on the outer edge of a nearby galaxy. Confirmation of the discovery came late in the evening, as a full system check was required to determine that the telescope was functioning correctly. After a thorough clean sweep, scientists confirmed that the telescope was in fact observing a massive brown hole.
While the cause of the brown hole is yet to be determined, scientists are speculating that a shift in the subpootomic farticles has created instability in the fabrics of space and time. The apparent weakness in the space farticles primed conditions to be perfect for the development of a black hole. Why the farticles reflect a brown color remains to be a mystery, however, scientists speculate that the brown hue is a reflection of the hue found at the origins of the universe.
The news of the discovery reached the Brown House shortly after it was confirmed by NASA. The President responded immediately and confirmed that funding would be made available for exploration of the brown hole by asstronauts late in 2013. NASA responded with plans to send their best crew of asstronaunts on a deep space exploration that would see them interact intimately with the brown hole. “This is a very exciting time for space exploration and all asstroaunts” stated Kernel Maze, the lead asstronaut for the mission to the brown hole, “we’ve been waiting long and hard for something like this and we’re very excited to be the first to touch the brown hole”.
Preparation for the mission will begin late in the spring, beginning with the development of NASA’s COBB program and the completion of their newest space shuttle, the COBB 2. Scientists are hoping that the COBB 2 will take flight, led by asstronaunt Kernal Maze, in the early months of 2014.