The Mystery of King Toot
I’ve always had an insatiable curiosity for antiquity, particularly that of the ancient Peegyptians. So needless to say when 50 Shades of Brown approached me to do paid fieldwork I was excitedly speechless.
Mythology has long laid the claim that savage Boobarians once inhabited the Brown Sea region of Peegypyt. But do the fartifacts say otherwise?
The Boobarians were rumored to be a warrior society in which the Brown Belt represented the highest rank of military order under the reign of King Toot. As my plane got off I hoped I could find a Brown belt and finally poove their existence. After a grueling 18 hours it finally went down. I was astonished to see that Peegypt was just like the pictures – brown as far as the eye could see – It was beautiful.
After a short sleep I B-lined it to a cab. I was finally on my way to the Ancient Sphincter. The site was marvelous and full of fartifacts. There was even an ancient skin flute! I picked it up, gave it a blow and the most beautiful note came out the end. Brown noise atmospherically flew through the airwaves and I gave a sigh of relief.
The sphincter itself was blocked by a guardrail as it has been since modern tourism began. Intuitively I reached beyond it, deep into the sphincter. I felt around and touched something stringy. I grasped and pulled out a ratty old Brown Belt! On my first day at the sphincter I solved the mystery and proved the existence of King Toot and the Boobarians of Peegypt!
– Fill in the Field, reporting his doody.